Death

Two days ago, Seth accompanied me to my friend Fred's memorial service. I'm not in the frame of mind to go into that but it was GOOD. Appropriate and meaningful and helpful to me personally. Fred was a friend from my Honduras trips. He helped pay my way on my second Honduras trip. It was anonymous at first but I eventually found out. We talked on the phone every now and again, say every few months, and he was one of the ring of people I felt necessary to call after Seth and I announced our engagement. But he's in a separate group of people from my daily life and he wasn't invited to the wedding because of what we understood to be our limitations at the beginning, not in hindsight. And that's another regret on my short list of regrets in my life (because for the most part I believe most things are done because who I was at the time didn't allow for a much different outcome).

This evening I got an email from my brother Cameron's friend, Jay, whose mother was killed last week in a car accident. I'm not close with Jay but I've met him a few times and felt affection.

In two days my dad goes into surgery, brain surgery, and there's been a remarkable outpouring of love and good wishes and prayers from COMMUNITY. Which is something my mom noted they did not have several years ago when my dad had his melanoma.

And community is what I am being drawn to. I am not fully involved. It's still idealistic right now in my actions and fantasies. It's overwhelming, incomprehensible in its reality right now.

I am blessed. Regardless of the future. I am blessed and count myself blessed.

Mowing, please

Could we please come and watch you mow? my sister asked. Uh..I guess that means I've gotta commit right here and now to mowing tomorrow morning, uh, okay, uh, how 'bout 10:30? Great. 10:30 it is. So this morning I mowed for an audience.

My sister's new job is with a for-profit agency that provides one-on-one support to people with developmental disabilities in shifts of 5 to 10 hours. Saturday, she's usually with Tabitha and Tabitha loves to watch mowing. Tabitha also rarely graces us with spoken words but she'll speak mow whenever necessary, to unequivocally communicate her desire.

Is it the roar of the mower that tunes out the rest of the cacaphony? Is it the vibration in the body? Is it the methodical pattern that emerges in the grass? Is it the predictability, the understood, the known, regardless of being in a completely new place with completely previously unknown people - a rare sense of power of understanding the foreign? Okay, so the latter is a bit of a stretch, but it's interesting, no?

I had fun. We had fun. I acted out jokes for my sister and picked cherry tomatoes from the garden for them to snack on and I poured water over myself to cool down.

Good times.

Country Fair

Shortly, Seth and I will be off to visit the Sedalia Center's annual Country Fair. Seth wants to make sure to see the sheepdog herding demonstration at 3:30. I want to enjoy the live music later on but I'm not sure how long we'll have the stamina for. The Sedalia Center is relatively new, I'd guess about 5 to 10 years old, created to bring back the arts. Years ago I went to a couple yoga classes there, a live-mike coffeehouse or two, and my boss was married there. So today's their best attempt at re-creating a good ole Country Fair. There are even gonna be several events that you can enter your mule in! Jumping and pleasure riding are two of them. Also high on our list for today are going to the Beekeeping and Blacksmithing demonstrations. Oh, and of course the early American crafts have a strong draw - churning, broommaking, and caning (one 'n') to name a few. That's one of the many things Seth has brought or brought back to my life - an interest and appreciation in the home crafts. I was already noticing I REALLY enjoyed DOING MAKING WORKING with hands and I know that massage and ASL were branches of this. Seth and I have both at times kindled and kept up each other's interest in crochet and knitting - in that way that racing people have pacing buddies. And in that way that little kids suddenly want to play with the toy that has been in the room forever and a day untouched until the OTHER kid picks it up and makes it suddenly more interesting. But I ramble...

Croquet

We would visit my grandma and grandpa in their small paper-mill Wisconsin town every summer while I was in elementary school. I think that's the last time I played croquet - in my grandma's backyard. But a couple months ago when my soon-to-be husband and I were at Target registering for gifts, I saw the yard games and got super excited about the croquet sets! And lo and behold!

Tonight I pulled the plastic (yuck, not the heavy stuff I remember) container out and set up the game in my yard. My partner won't get home till about 10 tonight and I couldn't think of any neighbors who'd be able/care to come over and join me. So I played a solitaire game. The grass is freshly mowed but still kinda long since my husband (who has recently been doing the mowing) likes it long in order that the clover have a chance to be spared. I don't think Brinker, the dog, quite understood the loud cracks periodically coming from me and my stick. Speaking of sticks, boy those mallets sure are a lot shorter than I remembered!

But I requested the croquet set because I look forward greatly to the Schuppe clan with their four marvelous incredible kids visiting us and playing a few rounds, or perhaps a tournament, in our yard. Seth (my link for life) also got inspired to ask for an outdoor game - a horseshoe set. I love being outside, doing outside. I love live, low-instrument entertainment. In some ways, I sometimes wonder if I missed my century - really being drawn to live entertainment. I can imagine happily listening to friends sing or play or rhyme during a typical evening social visit.

Alright, I gotta go beat my score now!

Beginnings

One month, nine days into marriage; three years 11 months into a job I fit; a decade into my "adult" life. Five minutes into the blogger world, and here I go.